Yesterday marked my first "re-birthday" (first anniversary of my surgery). My personal "official" scale showed that I lost a pound since last Saturday. Last Saturday I had a good size BM before weighing, but this morning, no BM yet, so even being "full of s**t" I still lost a full pound, I think it's pretty good. I've lost 75.5 pounds since surgery and a total of 138.5 pounds since orientation.

I decided that I was NOT going to celebrate my "re-birthday" with food . . . What I did was find my favorite recording of great exercise music and bring it to the gym with me to keep me motivated while I pushed myself extra on the elliptical cross-trainer. I had been doing that machine for 15 minutes, but last night I actually kept going for a full 20 minutes!! I was sweating quite profusely by the time I was done, but I really felt great (and tingly) by the time the machine showed I was done. (I listened to the music of a group called "Rockappella" and the music from the TV show "Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego?")

I'm getting so sick and tired of my "apron" (hanging tummy) but I don’t think I'm anywhere near close enough to see about reconstructive surgery to get that excess skin removed. I still need to loose a minimum of 36 pounds before I look into that. But, I'm determined to see this through.

I also know I still need to loose that extra weight and work more on strengthening because I still have some problems. I don't sleep through the night without waking up, and thus, I get sleepy during the day. I'm sure it isn't sleep apnea, I've never had that problem; it seems like my body gets uncomfortable sleeping on one place, plus my body and bed gets hot on the side I'm laying on an I have to roll over or move over until I cool down enough to sleep again. I think I have residual neuropathy problems in my feet, because they get numb some of the time. Also, I feel like the reverse of my feet swelling, the skin on my feet seems tight by the end of the day. I've asked my doctor about this, and he can't explain it. He just tells me that I don't have high blood pressure any more, he thinks my health is so much better since I've lost all this weight. So, I figure it's something I need to continue to work on. When I get sleepy during the day, I just get up and walk around and that seems to revive me so I can get back to work.

Since I joined 24 Hour Fitness and worked with the personal trainers during March, I've been working with the exercises that they said should help me with my weaknesses. I work with light weights and pulley machines, crunches and leg lifts. The exercises are getting a little easier, but still a challenge.

One of my other challenges is the fact I can eat greater quantities of food. I still have this desire to eat larger quantities. I picked up dinner last Wednesday where they made my salad for me and I watched the guy put (what looked to me like) two small scoops of tuna mix on my salad, and I thought to myself "WHAT! That's all??". But when I went to eat that salad, I found that was almost too much. I'm still working on changing my perceptions of what is the correct amount to eat. More importantly, I'm constantly needing to remember to slow down and eat slower and PAY ATTENTION to the foods I'm chewing and eating.

Sometimes, though, I still feel like I haven't CHEWED enough during a meal or I crave chewing something between meals. That's why I've gone back to chewing sugar free gum. I feel that it's better than eating a snack, plus now when I chew gum, I'm paying attention to my chewing and the flavor of the gum. That's so I make sure I don't swallow it (even though I've never swallowed chewing gum in my life!) and it satisfies my chewing craving. I know that I've been snacking too much between meals (matter of fact, Dr. Tanaka told me NO SNACKING BETWEEN MEALS -- NOT EVEN VEGIES), and I know that probably has been why my weight loss has slowed so much.

Good things I've achieved:
- I actually have a pronounced collar bone.
- I have neck! Most of my necklaces hang too long, and the small ones that didn't used to fit, hang down just right.
- I used to wear size 3X and 4X clothing. Now I wear size Large and size 20 pants (tummy is still large) I can get away with wearing my XL t-shirts, but they're baggy. I only wear them on casual days.
- I used to struggle to walk a mere block; now I can walk 8 blocks in about the same amount of time. Also, I feel so much better after walking the 8 blocks now that I'm nearly 140 pounds lighter!
- I can walk through turnstiles now! (I haven't been on an airplane since a week after surgery, so I don't know about the seat belt extensions, but I probably don't need on any more)
- I can put a shoulder strap purse on my shoulder and it stays in place! (my shoulders aren't rounded as much any more.)

I'm sure there are many other great things, but I can't think of any more right now.

Thanks for reading all my musings, here on the day after my "re-birthday". I hope my words inspire others to success.

Peace to all (Shalom Alechem)

--Sandi H. (Citrus Heights)
Surgery by Dr. Leo Murphy - 6/03/04
weighed 315 at orientation (May '03) -- BMI 60
252 at surgery --BMI 46.1
last weighed at 176.5 (06/04/05) --BMI 33.3
(I've lost a total of 138.5 pounds!!!! 75.5 pounds since surgery.)
I'm 5'1" tall. My Official goal is between 130 and 140 pounds
Then I'll start shopping around to get rid of excess skin (reconstructive surgery)
sandiantoytrain @ yahoo . com